Trust, Trials, Blessings and my Favorite Hymn

Things have been going well at college though i am not very happy with my exam scores. It is so hard to trust the Lord. This has been putting so much pressure on me because I want to continue to go here SO BAD and I am trying my best but the only way I can stay is with my academic scholarship and I really can't afford to lose it! I hate this pressure but the Lord is whispering in my ear, "Trust me. Give it to me for you know I want you to be here at this time, I have given you that peace to know. I will continue to provide until it is your time to move on." Oh how that hurts. Why is it so hard to trust? This week has also been hard for me to trust people. I have begun to put my guard up as I am seeing some relations appear to go one way and I am not ready to go through that again. The Lord is teaching me to trust Him, to love like Jesus loved, that He is in control. Why is it so hard to learn?

"Lord, Show us how to die, that we may rise again to newness of life. In Jesus' name. Amen." ~The Pursuit of God

There has been good moments and it is good to go over these during hard times so here I go.



101. I got my plane tickets for Christmas Break!!! YAY! Having that stress gone and having that security of going home.

102. Hearing that my cousin is going to have my 3rd sweetie! I'm so excited. And better yet, I should be home when it (predicted he) is born. :) Being able to Skype my 2 sweeties and herring them say, "I love you Neena"


103. Going over the hymn "How Firm a Foundation" in department chapel. Singing with a bunch of girls (and a couple of boys) and remembering how it feels to sit in a pew in my home church letting those words flow over me.


104. The constant repetition from the Book of James which I am going over in college group. What a great book that I never really went over before. Controversial and very uniquely written with some unique structures. It was repeated in chapel, in class and another class. This makes me feel God working in my heart. He is relevant.


105. Being in a home Sunday night for college group. It felt so much like a home and the hospitality was so great! The people are kind and loving and their children were very outgoing and giggle boxes. Adorble freckles :) The hug from the wife was so comforting and just what I needed.

106. Not only was it great hospitality but they had the best coffee I have ever tasted!!!!! YAY! It was so good. Cute cups also. . . yay for caffeine!

107. Lightning. Seeing God's presence and just the comfort that they remind me of home. Beautiful picture out my dorm room.


108. Going to the Majesty concert and seeing an old man kiss his wife's wrinkled hand in love. What love! She is healing and is in a wheelchair and he was so proud to bring her out of the house and show her off.


109. Going to Starbucks before church with Heron, Ronna, and Jordan and having Ronna treat me to "fall in a cup!" SO GOOD! (incase you don't know what that is it's a pumpkin spice latte :) YUM!!!!)

110. Skype-ing with my parents and not wanting to let them go. Being able to be honest with them and tell them my struggles knowing that they will pray for me. Hearing about the people I love back home and missing them but so thankful to Skype making it not so hard.


111. Talking to my sister for 30 min. and just being able to talk. Oh how I love her and am so thankful for her as my best friend.

112. Passing my 1st exam!!!!! I missed 3 lectures because I added the class late so therefore I did really good with it! (I did more than pass)


113. Being able to talk to my little girl Karis. Seeing her beautiful little face and having her smile at me and acknowledge me.

114. Talking to Felicity without using words through the chaos of the cafe. Having her wave her little fingers at me and just giggling her cute little head back and forth. Later she randomly started blowing kisses at me and it blessed my heart! So thankful there are little girls on this campus that I can love on. Caitlyn making fun of my random faces because she knows when there is a kid around by my face :) She wants me to dress up as super-mom :)


115. Eating lunch with Caitlyn Taylor and Sarah Moneymaker. Being able to enjoy their company and just talk. Talking about our families and what the church's role is. Great people here!

116. Healing worship on Monday. I woke up late with my roommate in which we had to rush to get ready for our 8:00 class (in which we were still late but it was fine) and just being out of it to having worship rush over me in peace and healing. I started writing lyrics on my notes and we closed out with that song (the new version). "Be Thou My Vision O Lord of My Heart. . . O God be my everything, be my delight. My Jesus my glory my soul satisfied." That totally turned my day around and gave me a peace about the day and really lead me in worship to the Lord.


117. Playing ultimate frisbee with Ronna and a group just for fun. Getting exercise and just goofing off. Walking with Ronna on the way to the dorms, us being hot, decide to jump in the pool with our clothes. We just ran and jumped in, got out and proceeded to the dorms. Getting funny looks, questions and taking pictures to remember our adventure :) Oh how I love that girl.


118.  Sitting in lower cafe sharing my heart with Ronna and her sharing her heart with me. Being able to pray for one another and being open and honest. Being able to hold each other accountable. Having Caitlyn come join us to do homework and taking a break to take goofy pictures. Spending time with these two wonderful girls is some of my favorite times.

119. Being able to go on a walk after a frustrated, stressful evening with Ronna and being able to look out over the city and pray for and with each other. There is something about praying with others that is so special. Sunday night we did the same thing and was able to see God take away our struggle at the same time and just being able to praise Him. It is so nice to trust someone and to be able to be open with her.

120. Getting 101 free prints in the mail today!!! Yay for decorating my room!

121. Going to Chick-fil-A for the first time with my roommie and Kristi. It wasn't to special in my opinion but it was still fun :) Just being able to hang out with them is great!

122. Being able to find an available practice room and being able to be healed by the music flowing out of my fingers. Being able to try out a new piano book I bought and just being able to let my worries go.

123. Having a rough day on Saturday and having Katie tell me that 3yr old Harrison wanted to pray for Neena at bed time. He was worried that I wasn't feeling good. It's amazing how God works and how it lifted my spirits that a little boy, nine hundred miles away felt my pain and prayed to God for me. How awesome is God!

124. Being able to talk to my brother and share our common struggle and being able to finish each others sentences. It feels good to talk to those at home. It was so refreshing! Thank you if you are reading this, you know who you are.

125. Getting a call from Ciara and just being able to talk to each other and catch up. Knowing I am not forgotten at home and that people are praying for me :) SO APPRECIATED!

126. Being treated by Caitlyn with a warm White Chocolate Moca on this fall day! Loving the cold weather and being able to wear a coat. YAY!

127. My favorite hymn has been sung in chapel over and over and I am loving it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jEuPIahKSw I love this version too! I want you to really listen to the words. My hands seem to raise to God whenever I hear this song. He is SO GOOD! "OH GOD BE MY EVERYTHING BE MY DELIGHT. MY JESUS, MY GLORY, MY SOUL SATISFIED" God is filling my heart up with Him and taking away that hole.

128. Talking to Jen and sharing what we learned in church. Her sweet kind spirit and love. Her willingness to eat lunch with me and to talk.

129. Going to bed early last night! YAY FOR MIDNIGHT :) Being able to be sung to sleep by Shannon and Sarah's voices drifting in our window. So nice.

130. Finishing the book of Matthew today. Having things being pointed out to me that I never thought of before. Reading the story of the crucifixion and how "let the blood of Him be on our children." His willingness to love me and Him saving me. What an awesome God!

I am going to leave you with these lyrics that have been so comforting to me with the situation in the first paragraph. It is called "When Trials Come" by Keith and Kristyn Getty:

When Trials Come

When trials come no longer fear
For in the pain our God draws near
To fire a faith worth more than gold
And there His faithfulness is told
And there His faithfulness is told

Within the night I know Your peace
The breath of God brings strength to me
And new each morning mercy flows
As treasures of the darkness grow
As treasures of the darkness grow

I turn to Wisdom not my own
For every battle You have known
My confidence will rest in You
Your love endures Your ways are good
Your love endures Your ways are good

When I am weary with the cost
I see the triumph of the cross
So in it’s shadow I shall run
Till You complete the work begun
Till You complete the work begun

One day all things will be made new
I’ll see the hope You called me to
And in your kingdom paved with gold
I’ll praise your faithfulness of old
I’ll praise your faithfulness of old